No.

I shared this image on my social media years ago and it popped up on my memories, which encouraged this post.

“No” is actually a complete sentence. After giving a very simple response, Have you ever felt like you need to explain yourself? Defend your actions? Make sure someone else understands why? This is likely rooted from past traumatic events where you believed that if you defended yourself then it would somehow make someone accept you or justify your choice. But who decides that? And why does acceptance from someone define your worth? Your worth doesn’t lie in what someone else thinks of you.

What would you say if I said you that you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone if you don’t want to? That you can start and end your sentence without explanation. 🤗 (take a deep breath) YES! It’s true. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, because you have to unlearn the thoughts that make you think you have to or even need to. Having your own back is a beautiful thing.

I’ve mentioned it before in other post but In my own experience of when you lose your spouse, it seems like your life gets put under a microscope. (Yeah, it’s super weird.. like I’m a celebrity without all the extra $$$… People watching me from everywhere LOL) Sometimes you may feel like you have to explain your every move because your person is gone. Sometimes others expect you to explain your every move because of that reason too.. To make your actions justifiable. 🤷🏻‍♀️ For example: Explain why you make this decision. Or explain why you’re not up for the holidays, or Not up for company, or life, why you like being home, ect… Says who? Wait, Am I on trial? (Maybe I’ve been watching too much Lincoln Lawyer 😂) Remember, Just because someone thinks they’re entitled to know, doesn’t mean they actually are. I’m here to choose thoughts that serve me. And feeling like I have to explain my every decision DOES NOT serve me. If you ask me a question and I say “No.” I’m not required to elaborate to make the decision, or make you “feel” better. May come across mean, and that is okay.

I listened to my grief coaches podcast and also did some grief workbook stuff recently, and between the two, I was reminded that I trust me. I have my own back. Most importantly, I trust I will make good decisions. And further more, Josh trusted me when he married me. I may not get it right in everyone else’s eyes, but it’s not their eyes I have to look through. It’s mine.

Life’s tough. Don’t make it even harder by feeling you have to explain your life. You don’t.