Narcissistic & Low Effort tendencies
- kateduke91
- Oct 1
- 3 min read
When dealing with “Low effort” people: Meeting distance with distance isn’t about being cold or gamey but protecting your energy. If they want a relationship, they have to show up. And if they don’t show up, then you see the truth for what it is.
Oh meeeeeeeee, do I have a lot of passion about this topic. I recently came across Dr. Sherrie’s reels that talk about Low Effort type of people. She talks about family members being that way, but really it can be family, In-laws, and friends. I watched multiple of her videos and it excited me that there was a label for the behavior. I dealt a lot with that type of behavior after losing my late husband. Some humans felt so entitled to my life and my kids. I thought it was just narcisstic behavior. But no, It seems that narcissism goes hand in hand with low effort tendencies.
Low effort people do the bare minimum, to make themselves look good when they cry victim. Quick to say “Well I try!” And “They dont inform us!”. Their words and actions dont line up. A quick “Well We miss you”, “Love you” , “Keep me posted”, to justify that they care, when nothing backs it up. Low effort is just that…. NO EFFORT…. Yet they scream VICTIM any chance they get. They want you to chase crumbs, and be forthcoming while they are not , but when you stop, YOU are the problem. Boundaries are a narcissist and low effort persons worst nightmare because you take control back over your life. You wake up & You choose your own peace over their abuse and that causes them to spiral for a bit.. When a person chooses themselves over the abuse, there really is no going back. Boundaries are set, people are cut off, and life goes on. Sit back and observe. Even when you remove yourself from their game, they still have drama and their life is never peaceful. I strive to be at peace.
It is absolutely exhausting when you try to do it all. Inform, negotiate, beg for a relationship, and walk on eggshells. That isnt your responsibility. You cant make people have a relationship with you or your kids. The ones that matter show up. The ones that matter, their actions support their words. Point blank.
It is me, Hi!, Im the villain to narcissistic and low effort people. I reached my limit with being a target. If someone tells you they arent in our life or rarely know anything, it wasnt from lack of effort on my end. It was the lack of effort that was shown when actions had to match words. I set boundaries and dont let anyone cross them. I have learned to remove myself from the line of fire. I will address you if poked but I will not engage to argue. I Block and cut ties if need be. And I have found peace that it is okay to cut ties with family, in-laws, or friends if they are low effort people.
If any of this makes you say, “OMG is she talking about me?” Ask yourself, “Do I barely reach out and then get mad when I dont know anything about Elizabeth and the kids? Do I get mad that her close friends know more than me? Is there an expiration on my “love”? Do I expect things from her that I dont offer up on my own life? Have I been GENUINE? “ and then you will have your answer!!
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