No time limit while on earth

Revelation 21:3

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore…”

I think one of the biggest, most misunderstood things in grief, is that grief never ends. It is thought that you will just “get better” with time or that you are “all better” if you are moving forward in life, especially when others are on the outside looking in… But that’s the thing, it never goes away! Some suppress it until it literally will burst out of you. I may handle it better at times, but it is always there. And the only way through it, is to feel it. I will have good days and tough days for the years to come. He was a part of me before he died and he will be a part of me until the day I die.

Your grief can make people uncomfortable, and that is okay too. Some may avoid you. Some may try and change the subject. If they are uncomfortable, that is for them to deal with. If you want to talk about your person, talk about them, for that’s part of how we keep their memory alive. It may be painful, and it also may bring joy. For the most part, I think a lot of people have good intentions, because they want you to be happy and feel better.

I, too, once was on the outside looking in. I, too, once misunderstood grief. I, too, thought it got better. I’ve lost grandparents, family members, and friends, but losing a spouse really shined light on it for me. Now, I understand the craziness’s that grief brings into your life. Now, I understand how one day you are okay and carrying yourself really well, and then the next you may be a big ball of emotions. Now, I understand that those that look like they are “all better now” are just carrying it in a way you can’t see. Now, I understand that you don't have to “have it all together” ever, even when people think you should.

Through the Kellie Bullard’s book on her grief journey, The Widowed moms podcast, and “Mom goes on” coaching group I’m in, I’ve learned that it will always be with me. If/When the day comes & God chooses to lead me and someone together, as he did Josh and I, I will bring my grief with me. I will not suppress it, I will not hide it; It is a part of me, just as much as my children. It will always have a seat at my table.

If the thought ever crosses your mind that “It has been such & such time, they should be over this by now”, the truth is they never will be. And one day, you will get to face your own grief.