Beachin’ … with and without

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Josh loved the beach. Not enough to live there, but to visit! He and his family would go for 2 weeks at a time every year. But it was also like a 14 hrs drive, so that’s 2 full days of driving. Me, on the other hand, I am only good for about 5 days there… unless it’s Hawaii! 😂 oh, and I would prefer to fly!

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The first beach trip I took with Josh was about 8 weeks after we started officially dating. Kind of sounds crazy when you think about it but we were in love and knew we wanted to be together forever. Plus dating in your 30s is way diff than your 20s. I remember him saying “you should come!” … Because in reality we both didn’t want to go two whole weeks without being together. We were inseparable! I said “ are you sure?” And I booked a flight to fly down to Daytona to be with my man.. I drove to the Memphis airport at 3:45 AM, boarded the plane and was in Daytona by 11am. I spent so many amazing days waking up beside the man that I loved. We spent almost a week together and then I had to fly home. I actually have on video the day he came home ( a week after me) , and how he walked straight to me and scooped me up and planted a big ole kiss on me, told me he loved me and hugged me so tight. One week was the longest we were ever apart, until he died.

(Daytona)

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The second trip I took with him to the beach was our honeymoon! HAWAII WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. A 10 hr flight that he stayed awake for the entire time. 😵‍💫 I took Dramamine and slept most of it. I’ll have to write about that another time. It was super eventful. 😂

(Hawaii)

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The third and last beach trip we took was for our babymoon. We were suppose to take a trip to Heber Springs with his family that weekend but when that didn’t work out we booked a quick trip to Destin FL. We both had never been there. The sand was so soft and powdery. On the way down there, we stopped at a gas station that had a Cinnabon, per his request. He got a red bull and I got a Starbucks cold coffee. Once we hit the road again, he saw the car beside him speed up and jokingly said “ oh he wants to race” and as he laid the pedal down, my cold coffee went from my nose to my lap 😂 I calmly said something about it and I remember him looking over and gasping. He said “I’m hanging up my racing days” and offered to pull over but thankfully I had another shirt handy and some wipes so I cleaned myself up. And we laughed the entire trip about it. I can hear him now telling someone about it. One of the days we were there, it rained all day, so we made the most of it and watched Harry Potter movies, snuggled, and ate yummy food. I mean honestly we both knew that was really why we traveled anywhere…. To eat awesome food! 😍

(Destin)

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I say all that to say, I just got back from a much needed vacation with my girls, my brother, & his family. Was it a little hectic, of course! Traveling with kids is a lot! Josh and I never got the opportunity to travel with the girls. This time my family & I took on Pensecola FL. 7 hr drive was enough for me…. I like flying! But it’s hard to fly with a baby bc They need a lot of things. 😂 On the way down, I had a lot of mixed emotions on how it was my first beach trip without Josh. But thankfully while I was there that didn’t flood my brain. I was able to disconnect and not really think of much other than current situations in front of me. The little townhouse we stayed in that was on the water was so beautiful. Grocery shopping for the week and seeing my SILs face at the total was priceless. Our buggy was so heavy I could barely push it. And I couldn’t stop quickly 😂 and we ate almost everything! The baby hated every moment of the sand and water, so I spent more time at the house. Seeing Stella have the time of her life on the beach, hearing the waves come in, smelling the salt & sand, and sipping coffee on the porch was worth being there. Without causing additional suffering, I’ll always wish life were a little different, and wish he was here to share these moments with me. While we were there my brother took us down a scenic route between Pensacola and Navarre. Let’s just say….Stunning! Just sand dunes, water, amazing views, and hardly any people. Like most, I enjoy vacation but when it was time to leave, I am glad to get home. Nothing like your own bed, your own ac, and your own shower pressure!

(Pensacola)

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I’ve faced and done a lot without Josh that I never really thought I would have to. Like ever. You always think your person will be there. You never think it will be you learning to navigate life without your person, along with taking on a lot of “first”s without them. A lot of things in my life will always keep his memory alive. The beach is one of those things. What’s crazy is as im adjusting to life without Josh, I’m additionally reminded he’s not here by the little things. Normally he would help drive, pack, loadup/ unload the car, tend to the girls, ect.

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