Jenga.. Stella & Josh’s fav

Josh and Stella played jenga at least once a week, if not 4-5 times a week. This and puzzles were their jam. He always played them with her almost anytime she asked. He has way more patience when it came to letting her “finish the puzzle” and taking all the credit, even if she didn’t do it. Or just being so relaxed when it came to Jenga and her little self almost knocking it over anytime she took a piece out.

I remember the first time Stella asked me to play jenga after Josh passed. It was about 2 months after… Whew, I froze! It was one of those gut punches I didn’t realize would happen. That is grief though. We will be doing okay for a moment and then a grief punch comes out of nowhere. Immediately, I felt like I wanted to vomit and cry. A reminder that he wasn’t here to play, keep it all pretty calm, and just laugh with us the whole time. I wasn’t ready to face that. So I was honest with her, and explained that momma just wasn’t ready. And to my surprise she understood.

Fast forward to a few days ago…. I was in the kitchen prepping what seemed like 100 GF heart shaped waffles for the freezer, when Stella said “Hey mom, I'm going to clean up my toys and then get Jenga out for us to play. Does that sound like a great idea?” (First off, why does she sound so grown) I sat there for a moment, but this time I didn’t want to vomit. I just was a little sad. This time it was 4 months after she initially asked me to play. While finishing up making the waffles, I reminisced in my head the last time we played with Josh, which was just a few days before the accident. Again, this was something that was on our coffee table being played ALL THE TIME. I replied, “Okie dokie, sounds like a good idea!” Her little self missed playing jenga with him.

Once she cleaned up her toys,

she started getting Jenga out & set up. As I was finishing up washing the dishes from the waffle mess, I could hear her in the living room placing the wooden blocks where they needed to go piece by piece, which was also something Josh did. I walked in and she said “ ya know mom, We can play this and remember babe. He loved Jenga.” And she was right… We played and had a great time… I listened to her reactions and it brought up sweet memories for the many games we played with babe!

Has it really been 6 months?