Opinions are like armpits…..

Everyone has them; Some stink, some don’t. If you’ve lived this life long enough, you’ve likely had someone share an opinion over your choices, whether you asked for it or not, and rarely optimistic. If you’ve ever lost a spouse, you know the microscope you go under. All of the sudden, people that have never been super present in your life become very vocal over your life and what you should do. Remember, NO one knows what’s better for you than you.

It has been expressed on how I’m grieving, how I should be grieving, how i spend my time, how I don’t spend my time, Who I allow in my bubble, why I should go back to work, why I should socialize more, why I shouldn’t stay in the house, and the list goes on and on.. LOL Some share their opinion from a place of love with wanting to try & “fix” me. Others share from a a place of entitlement.

In the beginning of this grief journey, It bothered me that so many shared opinions over something that they had never walked. Something they didnt understand. All I could scream in my head was “WHY ARE YOU INSERTING YOURSELF INTO SOMETHING YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT???????” But the more that I’ve sat with it, I’m glad they dont understand. And though those feelings of hurt & confusion I felt are very validated, I’m thankful that I’ve grown a little.

This grief journey has taught me to have more compassion for myself. It has taught me that the opinions of others will always be there, but that is all that they are, their opinions. Opinions from others don’t dictate your life, and the less you allow negative ones space in your brain, the better. I’ve come to be less defensive about my choices, actions, and the way I live. I could waste the valuable energy I have and get defensive, but in the end I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. 8 months into this, and I’m thankful most don't understand. I’m glad they have never had to make the decisions that I’ve had to make, with the pressure on my shoulders from those around me, all while trying to raise my family and figure my own life out. And more importantly, We all live life differently, grieving or not.

Will someone have an opinion on how I’m doing the days to come??? As long as im breathing…. LOL Will someone say something dumb or weird to me that may set me off in my brain? Absolutely.

A valuable lesson I have learned in grief is that I am responsible for myself and how I respond. I’m not responsible for how you think, feel, or even act. That is on you! I would never wish the pain I have felt this year from losing my spouse and from the judgement of others, on anyone…. but in reality death will happen to us. So be careful when spewing what others “should do” because the moment could always arise where you get to eat your words.